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Facebook Is Not For Babies

Submitted by Marie on October 3, 2009 – 4:57 pmComments

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Today I got another friend request from a baby. I didn’t recognize the name, we had no mutual friends, and the profile was set to private. (In all fairness, both the account and it’s cute baby representative probably belong to some girl from my brownie troop who got married and doesn’t believe in hyphens or personalizing friend requests.) Nonetheless, I had to make the big decision, “Confirm?” or “Ignore?” based only on the available information: a photo of an admittedly adorable baby and a name I’d never seen before.

I use my ignore button fairly liberally, and take great pride in being able to say that I have, at one time or another, actually made eye contact with each one of my Facebook friends. I have no interest in reading about what 568 people had for dinner, what body part they are, if they found a stray cow on their pretend farm, or how many of their 568 friends are single Republican Aries… so I work hard to consider my requests carefully.

However, in keeping with my good Facebook etiquette, before denying this baby a virtual friendship, I thoroughly examined the face of my friend requester to eliminate the possibility we might actually know each other from somewhere. Was it possible that I had met the baby at a bar last weekend? Or maybe it was one of the babies from my drawing class last year… I racked my brain for any possible reason this baby would want to friend me. Maybe the baby was a friend of a friend that I met at a party, an old co-worker, or someone from my yoga studio? Nope… I just couldn’t figure it out. So, after careful consideration, I clicked “Ignore” with confidence and moved on with my life. The real mystery is how these babies are using social networking sites in the first place.

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