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Draw the Line

Submitted by Tara Redfield on June 7, 2010 – 9:59 pmComments

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Pick up lines.  We’ve all heard them.  Some are more creative than others, but most of them are just embarrassing.  What is it about a man approaching a woman in a public place and using a “line” to get her interested, that is so not interesting?  For the most part, lines are predictable and obvious, which says something very loudly to a woman, “You are not trying very hard to impress me.”  If a man approaches you with a line that could easily apply to any woman, there is no intrigue.  He did not notice something specific about this woman.

For example, “You should smile more, maybe you’d have more fun.”  I don’t have enough appendages to represent how many times I’ve heard this one.    And it always makes me feel the same way:  annoyed.  First of all, this comes across as an insult, not a compliment.  And no woman wants to talk to a man that insults at first speak.  Secondly, you know nothing about me and have no reason to comment on my facial expression…maybe I have a headache!

I don’t want to disregard the effort put behind a line, I appreciate a man making an effort to talk to me, but in order for me to bite back you better have something smart, funny, and unique to say.  Men who end up getting dates with me, get them because I didn’t even realize what the line was, didn’t ever hear it, because he engaged me in such interesting conversation right away that he didn’t seem desperate or that he just wanted to hook up.  He was just a man interested in talking to me.  Very appealing.  Many lines implicate that he’s just looking for “fun.”  Women pick up on this right away.  The easier the line is to say, the less he is willing to work to really get to know you.  It’s laziness.  A good approach is to actually have something worthwhile to say.  Questions and statements are good.

An example of a good pick-up would be,“Wow this bar is amazing, do you know how long it’s been here?”  I am much more likely to talk a man that said this to me as opposed to the other line because I don’t feel like he wants anything from me.  Also this kind of question is a gateway to friendly conversation.  It’s me answering a question, not me trying to think of how I should respond to a “line.”

There are exceptions of course, if someone uses a line, and clearly knows it’s a line and they have a sense of humor about it, I think that can be charming…it all depends on the delivery I suppose.  But overall, “Let me get you a cold drink because you look hot.” is not going to work.  Get into my brain, then let me decide if you can get into my pants, thanks.

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