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Here I am “real-world”. I am an eager, motivated, summa cum laude college grad and I’m ready to meet you.

I have traded in my overpriced textbooks and cheap liquor bottles for job security and a steady paycheck. That business degree will keep me safe, and leave those windows of opportunity wide open.

At least that’s’ what I expected to be thinking at the start of that much anticipated summer. Instead, I’m heading home in my ‘94 Jeep, ready to go back to that ice-cream shop which seems to be the only “window” left open for me through the last 5 years.

It’s absurd to think that after 10 phone interviews, 15 resume revisions, and 30 cover letters, I would spend the next summer fighting back the urge to tell the miserable woman with the attitude and overpowering perfume that I actually do have a name, and surprisingly it is not “hey you”, and that continuously supporting her incredibly rude, devil of a child’s demands for a jumbo hot fudge sundae with extra everything will only add to the obesity epidemic occurring among young Americans.

The “real-world” must be running fashionably late to our introduction. What a bitch.

I’ll just have to go looking for her myself and be patient.

In the meantime I guess I’ll just force a smile, breath through my mouth, and keep pushing on. Besides, that little princess is going to need a boss one day right?

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