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No smart phone. No cable. No internet. Spells completely disconnected nowadays. I report to you live from a Dunkin Donuts down the street from my apartment. A low-paying job and crazy school loans equals certain cutbacks― in my case the luxury of technology.  Although I love , love the worldwide web and the possibilities it brings, I can’t help but reminisce to a time when celebrities weren’t built off of You-Tube and every person you walk by doesn’t have their head down rapidly texting.  Here are 5 things that totally urk me about the technological revolution.

1) Renting a movie- I mean what the heck, every single video rental store is pitch black and boarded up. Netflix and RedBox I love you, but how about those lonely days when you just want to pick up an old classic without signing up for a monthly service.

2)Face-to-face rejection- The all too famous, “I didn’t get your text or email” line. Please I know you did and you’re just avoiding the subject. Or the ‘I’m not going even going to give you the decency and call you, but break-up with you over text” sham. Ok, so face-to-face rejection sucks too, but virtual rejection is just insulting.

3) Automated phone calls- Booooo!!! This isn’t that much of a recent development, but can I get a human on the phone please? That’s pretty much all I have to say.

4) Twitter- Really, can someone please explain its use, are we that bored as a society?  I refuse to participate. I won’t hate on Facebook, but that shit can get creepy. Umm…do I know you?

5) Competition and ADD tendencies- It’s so hard to weed through the garbage. What’s worth reading, what’s not? And then if you get a break it’s so lack-luster because next week some shmco down the street records himself lip-syncing to Numa Numa ( that’s an old reference but I think you get my point, we move on fast).

Don’t get me wrong, I know there are super pros to technology, but sometimes lack of human contact leaves you longing for the traditional. I’m sure once I get my internet and cable turned on and I break-down and purchase an iPhone, I will join ranks with the rest of the technophiles.

-Elyse Wood

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