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Missed Connections

Submitted by Anastasia Savvina on January 9, 2011 – 3:07 amComments

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In an age of social networking and online connections, it’s sad to see people freeze when given the chance to relate to someone in person. I’m talking about “Missed Connections” on Craigslist. Sifting through shout-outs, pleas, oh-what-the-hecks, and hopeful beginnings, I started to feel the weight of these messages as a sign that texting, poking, tagging, checking in, and tweeting have become crutches and are taking us further from approaching someone in person, shaking his hand, and maybe asking for his number. It’s not always easy, I know. But there is something to be said about adding Facebook friends indiscriminately, only never to speak to those people again, but failing to pursue a connection with relationship potential (platonic or otherwise).

Photo: The New Yorker

Photo: The New Yorker

I couldn’t resist. I copied some of this public wishful thinking and pasted below. These moments of sincerity and ray of hope fall somewhere between the optimism of a lottery gambler and the delusion of a New Year’s resolution. Yet, they moved me. They made me question my own relationship to people that I encounter on a regular basis. They nudged me to react and, coupled with a series of events, finally pushed me to my hiatus from social networking (excluding LinkedIn, which is another story altogether). And here they are, folks, vignettes of unrequited desires and unrealized dreams. As you read them, try to remember your own missed connections and imagine how you will act differently the next time an opportunity like that arises.

“In another place at another time I see a moment of joy shared between us. We are happy, we are laughing, we are loving and all of the wrongs of the world are insignificant. We are walking in the snow, we are cruising on my bike to Tangerine, you are lying in my car as we ride south, your head on my lap, my one hand on the wheel, the other caressing your nipples. We eat sushi, we have breakfast, we walk, and talk. We kiss, we massage, we make each other explode. We laugh, we cry, we want, we win, we lose, we regret, we get a grip, we resolve, we continue, we go our separate ways. Like a sputtering candle in the wind, we flicker until at last, we are extinguished. Now, happy, each with his and her own, each happy in other ways, each satisfied in different ways, each resolved to do better, be better, love better.

But still, in the dark of night, in the hallways of my mind, I find myself missing you.

I love you…”


“So I saw you brushing your teeth…tossing your hair etc with a brilliant balance of poise and grace as you weaved around my cube truck down the 101 at 4:45 this afternoon… nevertheless after I honked my horn at you as a friendly reminder to stay between the yellow dashes you struck my fancy.”


“You were stunning: tall, beautiful, with an aura of such wonderful self-assurance — and making all the crappy vintage clothes look stunning. I was, well, myself: flannel and corduroy, and buying a book.

I have a secret: I only bought that book so I could wait on line and talk to you. I complimented you; you thanked me. And then when you flirted back (glad you didn’t buy the magenta!), I was so flustered I didn’t know what to say, which has never happened to me before. I left before we could speak again.

Please don’t let that be the last time I see you…”

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