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Being single sucks

Submitted by Jon M. on March 3, 2010 – 2:38 pmComments

by Jon Mossberg, author of Jon Blogberg.


It’s tough being a single guy in New York. Let me rephrase: It’s tough being a nice, respectful, relationship-seeking single guy in New York. Any idiot can go to a bar, spend the night buying drinks, and leave at closing time with a drunk woman on his arm (or so TV and textsfromlastnight  lead me to believe); but making a real connection with someone is tough. I suspect it’s tough for everyone – I mean, where and how and what have you - but there are a couple of unique obstacles facing men that I want to talk about. One is the conversational lead-in. Since I don’t have women flocking to me all the time (sorry, Axe BodySpray), the onus tends to be on me to start a conversation (did I just use the word onus? I am SUCH a dork). How do you just start a conversation with someone out of the blue? My theory is that you need something to happen, like have a person slip on a banana peel or get struck by lightning right in front of you. Then you can be all like, “Hey, did you see that guy get struck by lightning?” But what are the odds, you know? Even then, you need to overcome the creep factor. I find that women in this city walk around with their shields up. Who can blame them? There are a lot of creepy guys out there who say things like “let me smell your hair” or “nice boobs.” You need to prove that you’re not a creep right away or instantly be grouped in with these weirdos. So you’ve gotta find a girl you like, wait for an opening, prove you’re not a creep, and then be charming and funny and all those other things. It’s exhausting just to think about. I think I need to go to bed.  And this is why I’m still single. If only attractive, smart, interesting, open-minded, open-hearted, funny, single women hung out in my apartment, I’d be all set. Maybe I should post my address and you guys could swing by? I swear I’m not a creep…


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  • Part of the problem is the girl's side. You do run the risk of being labeled a creeper. Maybe this is why guy-girl friendships so often turn into romantic relationships. When you're already friends, then you're both relatively safe. You know that she's not a freaking psycho and she knows you're not a scary stalker. It makes for a good start.
  • At least be thankful you're not transsexual. It would be easier to find someone being cissexual and having polio, rabies and/or leprosy than it is being an educated, witty post-op transsexual woman that actually wants a real relationship.
  • catty
    I think you're adorable! She'll show up soon, don't you worry!
  • livogel
    everyone always says NYC is so easy to meet people in...and taht certain cities are "hard" like boston. I'm so confused what makes this distinction--to me seems like it's the means that are so hard. the bar thing sucks...but what else do you do?
  • Or the Denver/Boulder area. I see that it would likely be easier to find a date in a bigger (read: more expensive) city like LA, SF or NYC.
  • You're so right. I walk around this city (I'm not even a single girl, mind you!) and there are so many guys who are just creepin' along. I feel for all the single folks in this city because dating is so difficult, but it's even worse here.
  • Caroline
    great post. maybe staple it to your shirt for those nights out? in case there's no lightening.
  • emilyhho
    oh! the eternal plight of both sexes.
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