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Yes, No, Maybe So

Submitted by Rachel on January 18, 2011 – 11:48 pmComments

I’ve noticed over the past year or so that not making a choice at all is becoming an official choice, and I’m lodging my complaint against one of the biggest enablers of this – Facebook. First, there was the “It’s complicated” relationship status. I’m not throwing any stones from here in my glass house; God knows I’ve had relationships that could only at best be described as complicated. But complicated isn’t a state we should be aspiring to on any long-term basis; isn’t the very nature of being complicated supposed to be an in-between state, not a stationary one?  It seems, to put it gently, kind of tacky to me to publicly announce that you and your pseudo-significant other either can’t  truly commit to each other or have some fundamental issues you can’t work out yet refuse to break up for good.  I for one enjoy knowing where I stand with people. Be together or don’t, but figure it out. If it’s really that complicated, maybe it isn’t that healthy…

On another note, the word “maybe” is becoming a big pet peeve of mine. “Maybe” is supposed to be a temporary placeholder if you’re interested but you’ve got to check your work schedule or you fuzzily recall having another commitment that day.  You are supposed to check, and then CHANGE YOUR ANSWER! Yet no one uses it that way anymore. “Maybe” has become the standard response for people unwilling to commit themselves to something, always looking out for something better to do. I need to just insert a small “kvetch” here, as my boss would say - I love my friends, but when I make the effort to plan an event and invite you, I’d like the common decency of a yes-or-no answer in a timely fashion. In the best of situations, I’m annoyed to be waiting for weeks to see if my “friends” are going to show up, and still have no idea on the day of said event. But you know what really pisses me off?  If I need to account for space, food, money, rides, or any other of the usual considerations that go into throwing an event – then it’s just plain rude. I took the initiative to organize something fun, and decided I’d like to include you - I shouldn’t have to track you down repeatedly and harangue you for an answer. And don’t even get me started on “Not-Yet-Replied-Even-Though-It’s-Been-A-Month” people. I know you’re on Facebook on your glued-to-your-hand smart phone about 30 times a day. Make a decision. There; I feel better now.

It’s a slippery slope.  It’s true that we have a lot more options than any generation before us; and I think it’s starting to hurt rather than help us.  We’re slowly and knowingly letting ourselves slide into the oblivion of not really doing or being anything in a concrete sense, under the guise that being undefinable is freeing. Perhaps for a little while it might be, but if you ask me, we’re becoming a generation in permanent social limbo, and that doesn’t actually sound like all that much fun if you really think about it.  In a few years we’ll all need some serious therapy, crazy from the mind-games associated with being f*** buddies, baby mamas, and whatever else is making our relationships (or lack thereof) so complicated. That said, I guess I’ll come down off my soapbox now, although I must say - I do like the added height it gives. I think I’ll keep it around.

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