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Sometimes it’s an illusion when we tell ourselves that we’re adults.

We like to pretend, yes. It’s hard to maintain that image when you’re seeing your ex for the first time—especially if you’ve had a bad breakup. We all say its easy to meet the ex for the first time…especially if a good amount of time has passed. For me—it was difficult.

Meet my ex: tall, intelligent, speaks five languages, and blond. We met in a college class, and dated a little over six months ago. Things were going great—we talked about visiting Thailand over break in December. Then he decided to dump me out of the blue.

Needless to say, I didn’t take it very well. The last thing I remember was sobbing uncontrollably as I begged him back. He kept hanging up and insisted that it was over. Just a note: never ever try to win someone back when they’ve already made up their mind. It’s something you’ll regret later on.

Fast forward two years—to a temp job I picked up. Of all the people I expected there-nay out of 150 participants, my ex was one of the people there. It was so difficult to look him in the eye—even after we hadn’t spoken in so long. I panicked, and several comedic things ensued. Here are some things you shouldn’t do:

• Never ever try to hide-even if its behind something. Fate is a twisted, revengeful force that will lead your ex closer. I hid behind a computer as he walked into the room. He ended up coming to MY side. He slid nonchalantly into the seat across from me —so there was just two computers separating us. I wanted to crawl into a pit somewhere.
• Don’t draw attention to yourself in the following ways:

1. Swearing.
2. Looking around like a paranoid idiot for an exit strategy.
3. Panicking.
   

• Don’t avoid eye contact. He’ll obviously see you, and he’ll probably say hello.
• Make sure you smile confidently back and show that you’ve moved on. Keep telling yourself that you’re the calm person who has moved on.
• Don’t stare at him throughout the situation from afar, wondering how he’s changed…or how he hasn’t. He’ll probably think you’re obsessed. I kept looking at my ex, examining how different he was—and I believe he caught me several times. I guess it was curiosity.
• Don’t try to aggressively flirt with the person next to you to show you’ve moved on. Just act normal. I ended up talking to some poor guy next to me, babbling on and on about something I don’t even remember. The poor guy. Then again—I was alone and didn’t want to look like a loner. That’s perhaps the reason why you should learn from my mistake and not feel stupid after.
• Don’t linger around after. Often, “catching up” turns into a one upping contest in which one is trying to prove who has the better life post break up.
• Don’t bolt and disappear. I ended up bolting and realized that it probably showed that my ex still had power over me. It’s also more awkward if you have to encounter them again at training. It just seemed so right at the time—to escape as fast as I could and run out on the situation. My friends are still laughing about the whole situation.

Most of these things might appear as common sense-but sometimes when you’re panicking, it’s pretty difficult to think straight. I don’t even know why I wasn’t thinking—-but I’m not looking forward to our next training session together next week.

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