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Over the past two days my world has fallen apart.  Here I was, ready to graduate a semester early (after having transferred twice AND planning on taking a full time internship for the spring semester!), on my path to one of two great (and different) career paths.  I had all of my notebooks in order, class planning in order, life in order.

Then I had to start telling people to get a good look at my face because my head is going to explode any second now.

Rolling right along. The world was my oyster. Until it wasn’t.  I had to order a new laptop after a fan replacement gone awry (on top of the great hard drive swipe of 2010).  After paying an extra $40 for two day shipping so I’ll have it all set up and ready by the time I head back to school, it still hadn’t arrived. I figured, “of course it hasn’t! It’s because of the weekend!” But part of me was unsettled by the lack of arrival.

So I called my brother who got the shipment confirmation after he ordered it for me.  Apparently, they had to build it from scratch for me after I requested something be added (apparently it’s too difficult for HP to have a laptop with webcams built in these days), so it wasn’t going to ship until the 7^th. Which means it would get to New York on the 9^th. And then be shipped to Boston and arrive on the 11^th.  Mind you, I needed it before the 5^th.

A+ downer.

Now one of my professors (who, despite having a common last name, insists she be called by her self-chosen elfish first name) changes which book we’ll need for class. The most expensive textbook I purchased has been rendered useless less than a week before classes start. Forcing students to purchase the book at the campus bookstore for a bazillion dollars (added to the outlandish cost of the handbook for the class that can only be purchased on campus and is mostly comprised of loose leaf).

But it doesn’t end there. We’re just beginning, really.

Imagine my horror when I found out that junior/senior seminar classes in cinema are only taught in the spring. “So taking it in the spring,” you say.  False. Hopes and dreams going down the toilet. I had everything set up perfectly.  Having transferred twice and ending up at a school that prides itself in its five year program, you’d think I’d probably be graduation in five and a half years.  Wrong again. I had everything in order to graduate in three years, but will make it three and a half for a full internship that will surely push me up the ladder to success.

The internship must be in the spring. I’m taking classes this fall and would just graduate early if I left the internship for fall. So now what? Graduate the year early (well, in August after summer classes)? Graduate in the full four years isn’t really an option either.  There’s no undergraduate part time program, so I’d need to hold a full course load. I love fluff electives as much as the next person, but it’s really a waste of time. My university doesn’t even have a graduate program to jump straight into from my major (not that I planned on getting a masters anyway).

Then my cell phone like, ran out of internet for the month. I thought it was weird that I wasn’t getting many email, but once I saw that twitter hadn’t refreshed in twelve hours, I knew something was wrong.

Followed by being unable to make a professional email account for myself.  My school email will expire upon graduation, and the one I’ve been using since the sixth grade hardly seems appropriate for potential employers to see. But the tried and true formula of “first name. last name @ gmail.com” won’t work for me.  Even if I spell “Katharine,” have someone spell it back to me, then spell it to them again, then write it down underlining the second ‘A’ while pointing out that it’s definitely not an ‘E,’ it will be spelled wrong.  I’d never get any emails. “K.Vatter” was taken already too.

And then it turned out I’d have to special order the PaperMate pens I like because they’re not sold in stores anymore (I don’t know why, either)

So long dreams of being the next Joan Rivers. Farewell back up plan to be the next Brian Kinney or Don Draper. All this time I’ve spent carefully networking and learning and rooting myself into the cleverest of all plans was for moot.

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