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Money, Honey!

Submitted by GingerBlackstone on March 18, 2010 – 4:53 pmComments

by borman818

Anyone who has taken the marriage or cohabitation plunge knows that the most necessary and profoundly UN-romantic discussion this side of “Who scrubs the toilet?” is the Money Talk.  Who pays what bills, single or joint bank accounts, who makes what and what of that will be saved for which purposes. Clear enough for two people who love each other, no?


Money calls up all kinds of feelings about mine and yours, how much I should do and how much you should.  What we’re “worth” (I hate that phrase) and how our partners perceive that can cause major meltdowns between two people who choose to share food, sleeping space, and (gasp) bodily fluids.

Furthermore, you can’t have this talk just once, because as jobs, apartments, and priorities shift and change, so does the cash required.

Having tried many jobs, with no sign of stopping (I recently took up part-time real estate listing, and am looking at bartending), and married to a man who has been a day trader, waiter, cab driver, and real estate broker to support his passion for acting, we have this Money Talk a LOT. But where would we be without it? It may seem like adultness-101 to talk to your partner about your mutual finances, but it  floors me how many people “spare” each other details of their spending/ saving because of the reactions money discussions provoke.  I’m no angel- I sometimes hide parking tickets and clothing receipts from my husband. There’s nothing we can do about the ticket but pay it, so why stress him? As for reciepts, there are times when he just doesn’t understand why I need more black patent pumps, although he’ll compliment the wazoo out of me when I wear em’.

Big ticket items, though? Credit card bills with increased interest rates? These things need to be aired and faced or both people are in for serious headache, and sometimes heartache, sooner rather than later. If we can’t trust each other with the fuel for our daily living, what are we doing?

Painstaking though The Talk always is, it’s been easier lately. Since we moved in together in 2005, we have flip-flopped the role of “primary breadwinner.” He worked, I wrote. I worked, he did theater. Now, in our mid-twenties, we’re square: both working, both pursuing our art forms, both making money and sharing the expense of our living and playing. Best part is, we can talk money without throwing pots and pans. Most of the time.

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