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It isn’t news that our generation has been seriously afflicted by an ongoing economic recession. The job market is tough, but then again so is that other special market that so many of us are focused on, and are just as actively wading through with hopeful spirits: the love market.

In love, like in jobs, it seems like so many are looking but no one’s getting what they want. Is there really a lack of options or are we doing something wrong? Well, maybe it’s us.

The search for the right career and mate are two entirely different endeavors, but each represents, to our generation especially, an essential step towards happily ever after. And for go-getters, the amount of time and effort we are willing to expend ranks precariously high for each. So naturally, the difficulties in trying to land the right career also extend to trying to land the right love. But it isn’t about a lack of options, rather the choices we make.

In many cases, we’re choosing to maintain unreasonable expectations, to be overly cautious, or to be reluctant to adapt to the job or the partner that we believe we really want. In other cases, we set ourselves up for failure by expecting the prestigious-sounding job to compensate for lack of a successful relationship, or vice versa. I really only know this because for me, it has been a mix of all of the above.

After a string of long-term relationships with wonderful partners, I realized that they were doomed from the start because I had expected each to fill a void that was not theirs to fill – essentially blaming each boyfriend for what I thought the past one had lacked. It was only recently, when I found my dream career, that I was able to see in retrospect that it was something else - personal fulfillment - that I was looking for and not the boyfriends. The relationships themselves weren’t bad, but my choices to have them, and rely on them, were.

There may be a dearth in jobs, but love…love is out there. The recession is just in our heads. As for me, I don’t regret my choices one bit because I’m now ready to choose that perfect love, knowing that I’m choosing and loving for the right reasons.

So when you’re on the market, think -and choose- wisely. You might be looking in the wrong place.

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