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Santa Clause, the American dream and politicians with hearts of gold are just a few things that we want to be true but know the unlikeliest of them, and we accept it. What I can’t accept is being lied to by my favorite toast topper, I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter spray. On the banana colored bottle, it says in giant letter’s ‘0 CALORIES, AND O TRANS FAT’. And because of the nice printing and a lifelong image of Fabeo being the spokesman for the foe butter, I believed it. Well wasn’t I surprised to find that not only is their calories, there’s about 900 calories for the bottle. So that three or four sprays on the toast, another couple on the pan to make your super healthy egg whites and just a tad more for your turkey bacon that claims to have the same fat as thin air, is just another scam and disappointment that will turn up on your next weigh in.

900 calories and 90 grams of fat later, some use the poor excuse ‘Well everything has calories’, which though it is true, none go on portraying the way that I Can’t Believe it’s Not Butter does. And who knows, someone at the factory could put extra calories in it and sometimes the spray doesn’t work and you don’t get much or too much. Then how do you count the many deceitful calories? Others say that 0 calories means less than 5. To me, 0 means 0 and 5 means 5. It’s basic math people!

So what now? How can I move on knowing the truth? (mind you I’ve been using this product since it’s conception). For some reason, my local Walmart decided to discontinue it. Possibly because they couldn’t take the guilt of sleeping with the butter brigade and the lies became too much, I’ll never know. What I do know is that I can never look at it the same again and whenever I see a trashy romance novel with Fabeo’s face, all I will be thinking is how much he let me down.

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