We’ve all heard the expression that you can’t hate a person unless they reflect an aspect of yourself you don’t like. In general I’d have to disagree; I mean, some people just suck, right? However, it did start me thinking about the way I see other people, and vice versa. So I took to the almighty Facebook to poll everyone I’ve ever known about who we are.  I asked people to tell me something they like about my personality, and I’d return the favor, hoping to figure out what attracts me to my friends, why they put up with me, and even though I say I don’t care what anyone else thinks of me…well, I should still know what it is they’re thinking, right?

Everyone’s got their resume version of themselves – hardworking, articulate, yadda yadda. But what about when we’re not on our best behavior, when we think no one’s watching? I got answers from all types of people – childhood friends, sorority sisters, coworkers, current besties, and acquaintances I had come across in various clubs and activities. Funnily enough, a lot of them had the same answers, and were surprising to think about. For instance, several people wrote that I expressed confidence in standing up for my beliefs, to the point that two people admitted to initially being intimidated by me when we first met! That earned an actual LOL from me – first, I’m only five feet tall, and when I look in the mirror, I still see a person reminiscent of Anthony Michael Hall’s Breakfast Club days (Well, what I had said was I’m in the math club, uh, the Latin, and the physics club… physics club.) The word “feisty” came up several times, but that’s a given – Hey, I’m Italian! Another surprising thing came from two people who commented on how I’ve handled being diagnosed with an autoimmune disease. Both people told me they would have given up when going through what I did, and admired my courage for pushing through it. This whole time I saw myself as anything but; I had a whole range of feelings that had nothing to do with bravery. To me, there just wasn’t anything to do but keep going; there were still bills to pay and life to live. But it’s nice to know your friends get you, even better than you know yourself sometimes.

I also noticed I loved a lot of the same things about my friends as I wrote back. When I sat down to think about why I love the people in my life, it’s clear. The people I surround myself with are genuinely kind-hearted people. I love my friends because they’re reliable; they would also do anything for me; they can roll with my obsessive need to always be planning an activity; and they limit their silliness to fun and not drama.  We are always laughing, and genuinely enjoy even our differences. We pick up right where we left off no matter how long it’s been since we last saw each other. Then I felt all nostalgic - then I felt cheesy about being sentimental, but mostly glad to have these people who can tolerate my craziness. It’s an eye-opener for sure. There’s always room for improvement, but maybe I’m not as dysfunctional as I thought – although isn’t that the mark of the best writers?

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