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The other night I had one too many.
I’m not telling you this because I’m proud of it (dude I was totttttallly wasted the other night…how freshman year would that be?) But as someone who does …
This years Video Music Award’s weren’t that great (How can you top Kanye West’s interrupting TS last year? You can’t!) but there is something worth mention and that’s Lady Gaga. I don’t care for the …
I don’t want to come right out and say something embarrassing like I constantly compare my life to a movie musical. I mean, that just sounds silly, right? (Then again, I need something to think about while I’m out and about in the world and everyone else is playing on their iphones as I manage with a prehistoric 2009 phone that I don’t even use to access the internet.)
But in my personal movie musical, I imagine a big opening number where the screen gets divided into several portions- like the airport hugs collage in Love Actually, and each little square contains someone updating their facebook status instead of telling people how their day was in person. And then my square lights up — Cue the wistful, but driven ballad from a girl who has more to say than will fit into a status box.
It’s basically a recipe for disaster, but I have never met a bartender (well, a male bartender) I didn’t like.
Is there a place for you in your life? Think about that, if you’ve got a handful of minutes. Now take my flashlight.
And so now here I am, a complete tourist plopped into one of the largest cities in the US which everyone kind of adorably calls a “town.” Welcome to Boston.
“I’m fine,” I told her. And I was.
Tina nodded her approval and everyone moved on. I cried less. And no one even needed to ask if I was okay, but if they did, I knew the correct answer.
Gradually, though, I made it my mantra- calling on those two little words as a default- particularly when they weren’t true.
They led me through several situations, where I gritted my teeth and told no anything other than “I’m fine.”
Even in my late twenties I catch myself falling back on what I know and expecting to be warded off at the slightest hint of vulnerability. “I’m fine,” I say, no matter what is really going on.
I can’t help but look back and see how I would have been spared from several negative ongoing situations if I hadn’t felt it necessary to be “fine” in the public eye. I’d go into it, but I also prefer not to be seen as bitter as well.
