As I looked out from the window of the airplane heading from Narita, Japan to Los Angeles in the December of 2008, a stub of a one-way flight ticket in my hand, I reminisced on how the year started, and wondered where my life was headed.

Earlier that year, after my two tiny tropical fish gave birth to zillions of much tinier baby fish, I found out that I was pregnant. It was exactly after two days that I got an acceptance letter from my art school in Los Angeles where I had applied to pursue my master’s degree for fine art. I had already given up on getting accepted after having waited for three months, but it came, right in time to create a super-sized fork in the road. As Forrest Gump’s mama always used to say, life is like a box of chocolates: you never know what you’re gonna get.

At that time, I felt as if there was nothing harder than making a choice between two desires that would entail absolutely different responsibilities, lives and consequences-talk about the choice effect. As a girl, a woman, a female, and as a human being, I was torn between becoming a wife and mother, or pursuing my dream as an artist. Torn between choosing what was morally, ethically right, choosing what others desired for me to choose, or to choose what I wanted from the bottom of my heart.

I still cringe a little when I say this word-or even spell it out-but it wasn’t easy to make the choice to have an abortion. No, not at all. There are many mothers out there who have careers and balance both acts, and I owe great respect to them and it is absolutely possible to be all that a girl can be. But at that moment in life, I chose to take the road to pursue my life-long dream, my future career, and give it my best. I’m absolutely happy about what I have right now, and grateful for where the road has led me. And I feel that it was the right turn to make for me. There is certainly more that I can share on what I had experienced whilst making my ultimate choice, but what I’ve learned true from my experience about choosing is-I truly feel-much worth speaking.

There is only one life, and it’s yours. It’s too short to get old and too precious to waste. Every chisel we choose to engrave, counts for the life we sculpt. And for me at least, in the end, I would love for my oeuvre to be something that I can look at and get the biggest smile from.

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