As an opinionated 20-something equipped with a generous amount of confidence, I would like to believe that my voice could never be muddled by any sort of relationship.  But weathering the storms of a long-distance five year relationship has taught me that always sticking to my guns and shouting to be heard is generally not the most productive route to take.

I have discovered (through a series of knock-down drag out fights) that I am terrified of being that clingy, dependent, moldable girl that finds a boyfriend and quickly loses herself.  You know the one- she ditches her friends, starts forging a new career path, and becomes strangely fascinated in cars of every make and model.  This girl makes my skin crawl and forces me to never give in.  Nope, no compromise here, I am MY OWN PERSON.  Well, damn it, sometimes that mentality just doesn’t keep me warm at night, and my opinions are  not always the best companion to have.

As girls in this post-feminist movement, shattered glass ceiling kind of climate, we are told to stay true to ourselves.  This I am all for.  But somewhere along the way I had forgotten that compromise doesn’t mean completely abandoning my values, beliefs, and morals- it means having a well-balanced relationship.

I am learning to pick my battles, knowing that when it comes to the big stuff my voice will always lead the way.  In fact, it frequently reminds me that its not going anywhere.

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