On the subway last week, I overheard a young woman say, “…and I told him, try finding someone better than me!”

As I listened to her vent about relationship woes, I snickered. Come-on, how many of us have said this to an ex? (me! me! me!)

Sitting there, I remembered my own past moments of desperation trying to cling to a losing someone. It’s the end of a relationship with your eyes swollen after hours of crying you say, “How can you give up something so amazing? Do you know what you have? You’ll never find someone as good as me.”

Then, I had a revelation. My exes did find someone better. Ex #1 is getting married this year and Ex #2 is in a happy, stable relationship. Of course! It was exactly me who they didn’t want. As time went on, I said good-bye to my stubbornness and realized I didn’t want them either.

No matter how painful I felt during the loss of love, those break-ups led to some of the proudest accomplishments of my adult life. I’ve traveled the world, stumbled upon a career I was meant for, and found lasting friendships. I even fell in love again. It wasn’t better than me, it was better for me. My life would be different if I had stayed and I’m happy I didn’t. Moment by moment, I found myself.

It’s difficult to think long term during a break-up. So I propose to think of it as another adventure and experiencing life as it was meant to be. So, to the girl on the train…cry. Be around friends. Have a glass of wine (perhaps the bottle). Realize your potential. At this moment, too many choices can actually be a good thing.

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