At this point in my life, my only options for marriage are to transform into a Penguin, or to start greeting that cute stranger at the bar with ‘Hi, my name is Ruby, and just so we are both aware; the reason you are attracted to me is because you are evolutionarily attracted to my hips and therefore Dopamine was just released in your brain.”

After all that griping and yammering that I, like many of my fellow jobless or otherwise unfulfilled buddies, had carried on about being ready to rid myself of homework and midterms forever and finally take the “real world” by storm, here I sit just aching for a textbook—any textbook!

I wrote this last year as I was weighing my options with regards to school/work/the rest of my life. It seemed appropriate to resurrect this homage to mom (momage?) as I embark upon my first semester of graduate school.

Enter our generation, and The Facewash Analogy. I was in the grocery store buying face wash and it literally took me twenty minutes to between Neutrogena, Biore, Dove, St. Ives, Clearasil, and Olay. If we translate this analogy to career decisions, marriage decisions, sexuality decisions, it may take us a lifetime to finally decide who we are and what we are doing.

So long Suze, hellow Money Mondays with Mellody!

The poor economy has forced a change in my spending habits, but I’m still feeling insecure.

We all wanted a shower, but since the British couple had not showered in 4 or 5 days (they weren’t quite sure since they had come all the way from Santiago), Jessica and I gave them the go ahead to use the showers first. Two out of two were electrically shocked while lathering up.

I met Joy at the beach on Monday morning. Joy is 10 and has cerebral palsy. Joy is the size of a 3-year-old and has the physical capacity of an infant. Yes, she is 10, but I came to find out that she is as fickle as a 16-year-old.