I’ve always been one for casual dating. It was practically my MO up until two years ago. This worked for me. Even if my emotions got tied into the mix, I would always be able to revert to the fact that this “thing” was defined as no strings attached from the beginning. Although taxing at times, it made the “break up” go a lot smoother. A sure fire way to keep myself from getting hurt, or more importantly completely confused.
Although, more recently (two years to be exact) I entered into a big girl relationship which subsequently has come to an end, well kind of. I can’t seem to totally cut it off. I mean I’ve lived with him, shared traumatic experiences with him and done just about everything in between with him. I know we’re not right for each other in the end, but is it ok to be with someone because it is right at that time? Well, part of me says yes and part of me says no. I’m all for traversing tricky situations, but when I have to account for other people’s investment and emotions I’m not sure how to tread.
Before this relationship I didn’t need someone in my life at all times. Now I’m single and dating, but feel like I’m failing miserably. I think no one will ever care for me or know me as much as my ex does. This renders me completely self-conscious. I’m stuck between being single and taken, I don’t like this limbo very much.