To Choose or Not to Choose…
“They broke up? Is it facebook official?”
Ah yes, the last wack of the ax. Taking the dreaded facebook relationship status down. But wait, choisters have found yet another loophole to avoid a full blown decision…
“It’s Complicated With…”
Letting go is impossible because we can’t help but doubt our choices. As children we were taught to question everything, and therefore have developed incredible rationalization skills as well as a hardcore phobia for making decisions. It has even spilled into other aspects of our lives. The other day I sat in a restaurant debating on whether to return the expensive dress I managed to talk myself into buying just 15 minutes earlier while my best friend nearly gave our waitress a migraine as she weighed the pros and cons of getting the taco salad or the chicken fajitas.
Do we question too often? Too deeply? We examine things so much that we’ve begun to question our own questioning.
So naturally, when it comes to relationships we’re screwed. We watch perfectly good relationships end, and perfectly awful ones linger on.
We hold onto relationships (or parts of them) because it’s easier than living with the doubt from a concrete decision. If Ross and Rachel can do it, so can we.
In the end, options and choices will be waiting for us after every breakup regardless of how it happens.
Maybe it is healthier to enter into a“Complicated” phase with our recent ex rather than cutting off all ties, or maybe it isn’t. Sometimes we get do-overs and sometimes we don’t. We must accept the fact that even though we’re choisters, we’re still human too. Sometimes when we do make those feared decisions, they end up being wrong, but as humans we’re allowed to make mistakes.
We should trust our feelings a little more. Trust the choices we want to make. After all, Rachel did get off the plane and that turned out…well just perfect.
As for the lunch, my friend opted for a Margarita and I went back to return the dress but instead found the matching shoes.
Embrace those instincts girls.