Therapy Session: Why I Am Angry With My Father
Once upon a time, life was easy. Situations were black and white. Your mom and dad protected you from the Big, Bad World. Then one day you realize that your relationship with your parents changes drastically when you get older because nothing is ever simple, or black and white.
My mother thinks I need to go see a therapist because of all the horrible things that have happened in our family during the last few years. The truth is that I would see a therapist if I thought it would help, but I don’t think it will because we’ve actually talked “the problem” to death. It’s ALL my dad can talk about, but all I want is for him to care half as much about me as he cares about my brothers and their screw-up’s.
It never used to be this way. My dad and I would sit and talk for hours and he’d find time to at least watch a movie with me. I don’t think he ever realized just how much those movie nights meant to me- all because it usually ended up just being the two of us, which is next to impossible when you have four siblings. It all changed when my older brother screwed up royally (a story that is best left off the internet for various reasons).
In the last couple of years, I’ve developed some serious issues with my dad because he’s absolutely consumed by my older brother’s problems. No one can have a conversation with the man without him bringing it up somehow and I feel that it’s slowly tearing our family apart. This may sound harsh, but I feel like my brother brought it upon himself by making some really poor choices. I just don’t feel a whole lot of sympathy for him. He needs to take responsibility for his mistakes and stop looking to my dad to fix it for him.
I feel like my dad has blinders on when it comes to ALL of my brothers and it makes me really angry. They always have some sort of problem that they need my dad to fix for them, whereas I’m independent and hell-bent on solving my own problems. I need my father more for moral support and I think that’s the problem. What I need from my dad is not something that’s tangible- it’s not something that a wrench, or a lawyer, or a trip to the doctor’s office can fix.
I think the major difference between my brothers and me is that I’ve grown up and they haven’t (the saddest part of the statement is the fact that I have an OLDER brother). We’re all adults now and I think we should try to solve our own problems. I think that’s why I am so angry. I think it’s time that we choose to be grown-ups and it’s time for my dad to choose to let us figure out our own problems.