The Guys I Didn’t Choose
I don’t think it would be an incorrect assumption to say that most of us are looking for that special someone that makes all the ups and downs in life worth it. This post, however, is not about the guy chosen, but rather the guys I didn’t choose in my search for “the right guy” and the reasons why.
I have turned down some really great guys during my search. We’re talking some really sweet, amazing young men. Guys that put up with any possible mood I was in, told me I was beautiful when I looked terrible, and who treated me like I was the most amazing thing that ever happened to them. You’re probably sitting there thinking that I’m crazy, but I usually had two very good reasons for either turning them down or breaking it off with them.
The first reason was that I felt that many of those amazing, wonderful guys didn’t see the real me. When everything I did was cute and amazing to them, I knew that it wouldn’t work. Don’t get me wrong, I think I’m pretty damn awesome (please note self-deprecating humor), but I’m aware of my faults and I’m leery of guys who think I’m perfect because I’m not. I’ve been on a pedestal before, one that was so high that I couldn’t see the ground for all the clouds beneath my feet. I don’t ever want to be in that position again because when you fall off, well, it’s impossible to get that halo back.
The second reason I turned down those young men was that I followed my instincts. People knock women’s intuition all the time, but I believe in it and we should listen to it when it whispers in our ear. I don’t really know how to describe the feeling I get when I know that a guy isn’t right for me. Sometimes it’s a sinking feeling in my stomach (turns out it’s not just a figure of speech). Sometimes it’s an intense feeling that something isn’t right and that dating him would be wrong. All I can say is that I’m glad I listened to my intuition because most of those young men found someone that was so much better for them than me.
I’m not sorry about turning down or breaking up with those young men. I did what was best for both of us, whether the guy agreed with me at the time or not. They were (are) amazing guys, all of them, but none of them were the man for me and I was not the woman for them. I have no regrets.