I moved back to Alaska, they were in New Jersey. The time zone alone made it nearly impossible for us to talk even once a day. With no future geographical proximity reconciliation in sight, I drifted. To protect myself from feeling pain I stopped feeling anything and thus ended the relationship. Sure I cried when I told them I was done, but I think it was due to exhaustion and frustration that they wouldn’t just let go like I had, break the grasp and let Jack sink away on his iceberg.
I have been fine. At first we were cordial, I have gradually cut ties, don’t text, call, and eventually unfriended. I still feel a sting at times when I am reminded of them but it is inevitable. While I am slightly worried at my bizarre, borderline-sociopath response to this dissolution, more troublesome is the question of when I will feel emotionally stable enough to date again.
I had a lot of fun being single, I still am. But once I let my guard down and it bit me in the ass. Hard. I realized I was in no way mentally ready to be vulnerable, that this fleeting breakup had messed me up much more than I realized. I am okay with this. I do not feel the need to date anyone again; I am having a lot of fun relearning who I am on my own. But now I am paranoid and I wish there was something that could let me know WHEN I will be ready again. Like ask Jeeves. But real life.