I Am A Cynical Bitch
I’m a cynical bitch when it comes to men. There, I said it out loud. Look at me owning it. I never used to feel this way when it came to men, but I’ve learned some tough lessons in the last year and now I think a healthy dose of cynicism is called for when dealing with members of the opposite sex. While it may not be a characteristic I would have chosen for myself originally, I now choose to be cynical because it’s saved my butt from making some huge mistakes when it comes to men.
The moment of enlightenment that it’s okay to be a cynical bitch actually came via a tarot card reader. Go figure, right? My friend, Ash, and I went to one on the boardwalk when we were at the beach last month. It was supposed to be just for shits and giggles, but, damn, she was accurate with both of us and left us both feeling a bit unsettled. The biggest thing she said about me that stuck out was the fact that I’m very cynical when it comes to men, especially since my last serious relationship didn’t work out as planned.
Well, duh. Yes, I have to admit that part of the reason I am cynical is because that relationship ended badly, but it’s only a very small reason at this point. In the last few years, more than a few men have tried to use me. Sometimes, my radar was off and they succeeded in getting whatever they wanted from me, but I managed to listen to my instincts for the most part and I got out with my self-respect intact. My experiences have taught me that almost every man wants something from you, which is usually just a piece of ass and then they’ll never call you again. See? That’s where the cynical bitch part really comes into play.
Honestly, I see being a cynical bitch as a self-preservation instinct. Being a cynic has saved me on more than one occasion from being played. As for the bitch part, well, I don’t like to be played with and you really don’t want to get on my bad side. Truthfully, I may be a cynic, but I still have hope that there is a guy out there who does not have ulterior motives. So, here’s a message to that guy: When we eventually meet, show me that you really are who you say you are and I’ll make the choice not to let my cynicism get the best of me. Deal?