From Bars to Museums
Meeting people with whom one would want to start a relationship can be difficult. The most difficult part is figuring where to meet these “people” (I’ve heard they’re out there, but I have no empirical evidence). Where you meet someone tells you a lot about the confidence you should have in the relationship. A hierarchy of relationship starting points can guide you to relationship success! Lowest levels listed first…
The Bar: Stereotypical. “Less than Ideal” would be putting it mildly. The combination of low light, high alcohol level, and the near-deaf experience of a bar spells doom for pretty much everyone. This includes clubs, lounges, and VIP rooms with Ben Roethlisberger and his bodyguards.
Work: Ugh. Don’t let The Office fool you. Work sucks, and you probably don’t want to work with your mate anyway. Then again, I don’t have what’s traditionally referred to as “a job.”
College: I guess it works for some people, but I remain skeptical. Too many variables (read: choices of other mates), too much partying and fickle youthfulness to be truly successful. Thank God I’m out.
A Concert: Depends on the concert. Hopefully it’s not a Nickleback show. Adds a slightly higher-brow and artsy element to the relationship, but ultimately a concert is a glorified bar: substances and deafness abound.
Near-Death Experience: Very tough to come by organically. You could hire someone to shoot at you and your target, but this isn’t advisable. Although the near-death experience is a surefire way to cement an emotional connection, it could lead to problems down the road when you realize you have nothing in common with your partner.
A Museum: YES! The ideal, but also the most difficult place to meet someone. Everyone seems so focused on the art, and the atmosphere sometimes resembles a church. But if you can pull it off…that would be great. You can at least feign intelligence and classiness because of the location, and museums are conducive to genuine and deep conversation. The perfect place to meet someone, albeit with a high degree of difficulty.
This is obviously not even close to being scientific or comprehensive in any way, but it’s fun to think about. I like museums, but maybe people could start getting wasted before they go. That would make things a lot easier.