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Flirting with Strangers

Submitted by Laura Horton on September 6, 2010 – 5:00 pmComments

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I have a problem with sarcasm: I overuse it.  Plus, my poker face is amazing (I’m also really modest), so sometimes the inflection doesn’t quite cut it for people.  In other words, I make people super, super uncomfortable.

It’s fine with friends and friends of friends because their default expectation is “she’s not being serious.” But with strangers at bars, or parties… or restaurants, museums, various forms of public transportation… it doesn’t come across all that well.

People’s first impressions of me tend to be that I’m awkward and shy.  Which… well, at least the shy part isn’t true.  They’re probably right about the awkward.  Once people get to know me, they bear witness to my, you know, charm… wit… general clever-ness, and they realize I’m not a blubbering idiot.  But until that point, I am that weird girl that so-and-so is friends with.

This works out well, generally, because I weed out a lot of people that just don’t mesh well with me. But, in certain circumstances, particularly that of the casual hook-up persuasion, it’s a bit of an obstacle.

See, I’m not in the market for a boyfriend.  The next four months of my life are going to be, and have to be, more focused than any time leading up to this point.  Prepping for graduation and my entry to the so-called “real world” is too time-consuming to try to make a relationship work.

I still need a flirting outlet, though.  And that’s best kept to people that I don’t have an established relationship with: friends (bad. bad. bad. idea), exes (oh God, worse idea), random former hook-ups (there are always really compelling reasons to keep these people out of your life), etc.

I have no intention of changing.  Which basically means I’m either going to fall into an awkward “quasi-relationship” that devolves into avoiding eye contact and pretending to have lost my phone, or I’m going to drive all of my friends absolutely crazy.   Uh… sorry, guys.

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