I now find myself spending at least an hour a day, usually at inappropriate hours of the night, looking for a job. I knew that this was coming. School ended for me in December and I’ve been applying since October, but now that it’s March, I’m starting to stress.

I feel like I’m finally an adult, but the world won’t let me be. I could go to work daily, and pay my bills, and buy my groceries, and cut back on the amount of Real Housewives I watch, but instead my mom cooks my dinner while I am fully caught up with all of the Kardashians.

Over the summer, while working a TV programming internship, I did small interviews with a few people within the network to see exactly what their jobs entail.

I was told, multiple times over the course of 10 minutes, that I need to be specific about what I want to do. I can’t just say, “I want to work in TV or movies,” I can’t say, “I want to write for TV.” I’m supposed to say, “I want to write for Saturday Night Live before moving onto sitcom work and I will do nothing less.” And while that certainly has its merits, I’m not super trusting of any conversation that happens in a dark office with The Doors movie playing on an old TV in the background. (The meeting was not as sketchy as it sounds)

But that’s not what the job market is right now. Right now, my checklist for applying to a job is:

1. Have I heard of this company?

2. Am I mostly qualified for this job?

3. Apply

I’ve got at least 100 applications in at this point and have only received one official rejection letter. On some of the company sites, I can see the status of my application, and by doing so I can see that 4 positions have closed, and 2 positions are (and have been, for over a month) reviewing my application.

Right now, I lack complete confidence that I may ever get a job. The fundamentals of getting a job are being thrown out the window. Nearly every job I have applied to goes through an application system, so there’s no following up. Think your qualified and would like to talk to someone? Too bad. Have a question about the position? Keep it to yourself.

I’ve even applied for some jobs that don’t want a cover letter– just a resume.

But there’s almost nothing that can be done. The people I know who are just out of college and working in the industry are in such low positions, that they cannot pull any strings for me, and it looks like it’s going to take some time before they ever move up. There’s an overall feeling from older generations that young whippersnappers just aren’t willing to work and the youths have to work their way up just like they did.

But there’s no way to move up because they aren’t leaving. Upward movement has frozen and there’s no entry level left. Personally, connections are getting nowhere because there’s not much left.

I’m looking to move to California too. Not only will it open my job market to another state, but as the winter goes on and the cast of Glee keeps tweeting pictures of them on the beach, I can’t help but want that. I just bought a ton of summer clothes and I want to wear them.

So right now, I’m flailing. I’m volunteering at the local library (where I want to tear my hair out), while trying to creatively avoid part time jobs (what if my middle school bullies see me and think I’m not doing well for myself? I need to be doing at least 3 times better than them at all times). I’m saying I get a lot of reading done and plan to go to the movies more, but I don’t get changed out of my pajamas and read a lot of fanfiction.

And I guess now I really do feel like a “twenty-something” in the worst way possible.

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It wasn’t entirely Darren Criss’s fault. But most of it was.

Last night I saw Darren Criss and Beau Bridges in Broadway’s How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying. It was unfortunate.

Finch arrives down onto the stage on rope, and immediately it sounds like an N*SYNC concert. Which is problematic, seeing as this is live theatre that I paid good money to see.

How to Fail on Broadway by Not Even Trying

The opening number is…rough, this is because of Darren flopping around on stage with no vocal support and no acting chops. The scenery and costumery is phenomenal, but the dancing seemed off. It was well synchronized, but basic and certainly did not fit the tone of the song or the era.

I don’t want to completely crush Darren. I really wanted him to be fantastic and thought it was a good role for him. His voice just wasn’t there. He certainly warmed up (which should not happen. He should be on since step one), and some notes were very well supported, but for the most part he was airy and it was almost like he was trying too hard to sound good. So we could barely hear him.

Beau Bridges at least had the sense to give up on sounding good and just graveled his way through.

Bridges and Criss were pretty much talking past each other. It’s as though they were working so hard to remember their lines, that they just didn’t pay attention to one another. Neither know how to wait for applause or laughter, so a lot of lines were lost. The Old Ivy scene had me genuinely wishing I had seen Daniel Radcliffe in the role. He most likely nailed it.

Many reviews had said that Darren was more of an actor and dancer who could sing rather than a singer and actor who could dance. But he didn’t dance very well either. I imagine much of that was the result of lazy choreography. A 5^th grade tap recital could have covered the show quite well.

This isn’t to say the rest of the cast wasn’t amazing. Rosemary was the first to sing other than Finch, and she blew me away. Bud was fantastic and stole every scene he was in. Beau Bridges reminded me of the head elf in the original Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer movie. Or maybe Blitzen teaching the tiny reindeer how to fly.

The worst part was easily all of the Darren Criss fans. I watch Glee, not for the show, because it’s terrible, but because I love the cast, Darren included. But god damn, I wish those girls would shut up. They can be broken down into the following groups:

1)The Starkid- Wearing pink sunglasses. Inside. During a Broadway show.

2)The Very Potter Music Kid- Wearing a Gryffindor hat, scarf, and tie. Inside. During a Broadway show.

3)The Gleek- These can also be called Warblers (the singing group Darren’s character was originally in before switching to a crappy public school for his boyfriend). They are wearing tuxedo-esque school uniform tshirts (think “what Weird Al would wear to a wedding) and a homemade scarf and hat. Inside. During a Broadway show.

These fans also screamed anytime Darren did anything, did not pay attention to scenes he wasn’t in or spoke over lines that weren’t his, ate junior mints, snowcaps, and peanut M&Ms like they were in a movie theatre (but worse), and left before the show was over to stage door.

The problem with this was that A)they left before the show was over and B)they missed the spectacular fail that was “Brotherhood of Man,” the final song. I had seen Daniel Radcliffe perform this number on various late night talk shows. He was great. Darren was not. His voice had been weak the whole show through, but now it was just tired. His dancing was lazy, also because he was tired, and most likely winded. The choreography was decent, but not impressive. The audience was impressed anyway. I was impressed by the woman being thrown back and forth while hitting strong high Fs. They were impressed that Darren Criss can do a somersault with assistance.

I’m not sure what I was expecting. Darren is known for a terrible TV show and Youtube videos. In his biography, he thanked Glee’s exec producer, whom he referred to as “Baroness.”  I really wanted this to work. I chose to see him instead of Daniel Radcliffe, as I’d seen him in Equus.

Andy Cooper’s voice overs gave me life, but the tight spots on Darren were lackluster.

Otherwise, the sets were the best and it’s nice to be back here blogging.

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I had lived an entire decade. I had been through heartbreak when he circled no at summer camp, attained intellectual success receiving elementary school honors, and experienced loss by death of goldfish- excuse me, Japenese Koi. At 11 years old I had seen it all. More than ready to be out of my tweens and into high school, I longed for the day when I could drive myself to the movies, and wander the mall without checking in with chaperones via walkie talkie.

Fast forward to 18, only after now having truly experiencing love, heartbreak, and death, was I prepared for what was really next…Loathing six hour school days I drifted off into thoughts of independence, roommate camaraderie and abstract theories I would develop in a college philosophy seminar. It would be like summer camp for adults, only better. After four years of exercising intellectual curiosity and living “independently” we would meet graduation with a fire burning in our stomach, ready to take on Corporate America. With a college experience behind us, we would storm through open doors and begin climatic new chapters.

We hunger for what’s next, because what’s next is always better than what’s now. We’ve watched the Devil Wears Prada and Sex and the City enough times to prepare us for post-gradum. Rewarding careers, charming apartments, big cities, cosmopolitans…it is what’s “next”.

Six months out, I wonder… What happened to that fresh-faced working girl I envisioned stomping her Louboutins over cobblestone streets and pushing her Starbucks through the hustle and bustle of the Boston Financial District? Instead of feeling liberated, so many of us feel trapped. Have we trapped ourselves in the beginning part of the end?

Post-gradum has recently been described to me as, “the death of my soul”, “the end of the golden years”, and most eloquently put by my best friend, “The worst fucking thing ever.”

What happened?

As we smiled big for the pictures and held our diplomas proudly at our chest we walked, (or in some cases stumbled) right off the commencement stage and into what can only be described as one of the shittiest economies in history. Our dream jobs were put on hold while we accepted positions that promised to build resumes and generate a steady paycheck to help pay for (take a deep breath) college loans.

“It’s called paying your dues”. My dad would say with about as much empathy as the rest of the world has for Casey Anthony’s personal well-being… I thought he said that about my unpaid internship, and the unpaid internship before that…

Trust me, we know. We learned to anticipate frustrating commutes, low-starting salaries, and rejection from potential employers. We perfected our resumes and fought hard through 3 tier-interviews to land that first job that many others did not. We welcomed anxiety in order to establish good impressions and to get a head-start on climbing the corporate ladder. It may not be our dream job but it’s progress.

Then why, if we were so prepared for this inevitable “Real-World” do so many of us still feel so…stuck.

Our “next” is now undefined, and we no-longer have a path to follow in order to get to the woods. We’re in the woods, and it’s pretty fucking dark, so we scramble to remember the things that make us feel comfortable.We reminisce about the past because it’s easy to edit and easy to love. The camaraderie of roommates, Tequila Popper Tuesdays, and weekends spent doing nothing but bonding with friends and dancing in our living rooms.

Was it fun? Absolutely. Were we happy? Yup. Were we truly proud of the people we’d become and our resulting character? O.K…Well….

You might say yes, because it’s easy. I’d say I came close, but no, the bleary-eyed college graduate I was on that May morning was not the optimal self I strive to be. This is not the end, it is freedom for the first time. Real freedom, as terrifying as it may be. Only now can we blaze a trail for ourselves. We can choose to stay and work hard, or we can lose ourselves in the memories of the past.

We are now free to truly earn and deserve. Free to feel the weight of the daily grind, the satisfaction of our paycheck, and the joy in unexpected moments. Only now can we truly appreciate the four years we had, and have the financial freedom to recreate it again on the weekends…and maybe even in Vegas. The footprints that our friends have left on our hearts will remain intact and rest assure when we see each other again, our bond will be just as strong…maybe even more now that we don’t share a bathroom.

The other night I watched my parents sit on the porch of their beautiful home sipping white wine watching the sunset over the meadow nearby. They broke their own rules that night, drinking wine on a Sunday night. I admired how they still looked at one another and how my mother shrieked with laughter at my father’s proposal to call in sick the following morning and spend the day up north walking the beach and soaking in the beautiful summer heat. There they sat, optimal selves and all basking in the calm, simple happiness of the lives that they built in their 20s, 30s and 40s.
No hype, no glitter, and definitely no Louboutins. It took time, but they built their careers. It took effort but they sustained friendships. They pursued passions and deservingly indulged on weekend getaways, vacations and parties. They worked hard to build a home and a loving family. The ups made the downs easier, and the downs made the ups sweeter, and they never once pressed pause.
This is what is next.

In the mean time, how do we stop feeling stuck? Remember that you’re making progress, and indulge along the way. These coming years will present opportunities that the last four did not. Moving into your first real apartment, traveling just because you can, and appreciating the fact you can sleep in an X if you want. (College or not, no one should be sleeping on a TwinXL.) Relish in the fact that you can’t predict what’s next, even when you think you can, and allow yourself to feel every bit of the ride. You won’t get these opportunities in ten years. The dream jobs will come, friendships will last, and rest assure the trip to Vegas will give our spring break junior year a run for its money. Embrace a new chapter, as uneasy as it may be, and storm don’t tip toe through open doors.

And as for the lazy days of fighting hangovers with laughter and friends? We’re 22 not dead…there’s always Sunday.

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If you’re in a wonderful relationship then congratulations, half the world’s battles have been won. But all that is glitter is not gold, especially when you’re dealing with a heavy spender who happens to be your beloved spouse. There’s nothing tackier than heckling your significant other about him burning cash like a fireplace is a limb, but it has to be done, no matter how bad the ‘nag’ look looks on you. But don’t bombard his guy night with numerous voice mails and texts asking ‘Why the hell haven’t you saved any money for emergencies’ or ‘Why am I getting notices the car insurance has been canceled!’. Essentially, it’s a good idea in order to blow off steam while embarrassing him, but by no means will it make him change and sooner or later, he will mess up.

There are many ways of tackle the ugly beast without looking like he made a mistake of dating you.

Option #1: Be coy about the situation.

Allow him to be so guilt ridden, he will spill the beans and apologize, seeing that what he did was completely ‘wrong’. This will allow him to correct his mistake while you look down on your high horse, a halo around your head.

Option #2: Straightforward in person talking.

Sitting him down, preferably when he’s in a good mood, express your concern with his constant spending and lack of saving. Tell him that bad credit for him will be bad for the both of you in the long run and that you are generally worried for his financial welfare. This option allows him to see that your just looking out for him, and in return will love you for that.

Option #3: I’m not upset, just disappointed.

This still works! Remember when your parents would say, ‘I’m not mad or upset at you, I’m just disappointed.’ It was the worst thing to hear after you made a mistake. In a relationship, this will tear apart his ego and primal instinct to provide, and will go back on track.

Option #4: Being the bubbly girlfriend with no clue.

I never condone acting stupid…except when you have good intentions. Telling your guy that you’ve decided to get your finances straight and offer to do his, might force him to decline. When you are forced to snoop, he will admit before you find out, even when you already know. Offering to track his bills and spending, he will step up eventually to the responsibility, while seeing how much he spends and on what, possibly surprising himself.

Option #5: Baby, I’m going Green.

Cutting back on everything and converting to things Green. Expose him to world issues of poverty and the dwindling economy (if he’s been ignoring it), while cutting back or changing things up (rent a movie for $1 at a redbox instead of renting at netflix for $4 or going to bar on special events when the drinks are cheap). He might just want to cut back, changing his bad spending ways for good.

So don’t flip out, have the upper hand while saving you and your boo in an economy worst like no other.

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Transportation systems and investments shape entire communities, and have a dramatic impact on overall public health. Since the 1950’s, America has fallen in love with the private automobile, and developed a sense of entitlement to instant, personal transportation. Along with this, the creation of suburbs has caused communities to be located away from town centers and public transportation, forcing communities to be entirely auto-dependent for transport and access. It creates a vicious cycle of funneling more and more money into roads and trying to ease congestion, then fueling more auto-oriented land development, and in turn demand for more roads, which marginalizes non-driving populations both economically and socially.

The need for a shift in transportation policy is being driven by a variety of factors: near-crippling congestion in many metropolitan areas, renewed interest in city living and desire for shorter commutes, demographic shifts, which includes the increasing number of people over 65 and immigrants, two groups less likely to drive or own cars, the enduring poverty in inner-city and rural communities, the growing understanding of connections among health, the built environment, and transportation plans; and the increasing frustration among residents and advocates about the limited accountability and inequitable transportation decision-making, which quite frankly vastly over represent suburban and white male interests.

Many health areas are impacted by transportation policy, including physical activity, general health, air pollution, traffic safety, and household expenses and equity. Socially, much of the burden of disease and premature death is shouldered by vulnerable populations, including the elderly, children, the disabled, and underserved minorities who lack access to safe recreational areas, high-quality education, healthy food, medical care, and gainful employment, among other things. Nearly one-third of the U.S. population is transportation disadvantaged.

Obesity is the nation’s fastest rising health problem – 16 percent of children are obese*, and an additional 12 million kids are overweight, with overweight children more likely to become obese adults. Obesity and inactivity lead to other preventable chronic conditions such as high blood pressure, heart disease, osteoarthritis, cancer, stroke, and diabetes. Mental health is also affected when people are continually stressed by traffic, public transportation delays, less time with family and friends, and long commutes.

Pollution is another major factor. An estimated 35 million people live within 300 feet of a major roadway, and are at higher risk of pollution-related illnesses. Communities near heavily used highways have a proven increased incidence of lung cancer, asthma, and other respiratory illnesses. Furthermore, carbon dioxide is a greenhouse gas and the biggest human activity-related contributor to global climate change. The U.S. transportation sector accounts for 10% of the energy-producing greenhouse gas emissions worldwide. If left unchecked, these emissions could increase to 80% above current levels by 2060.

In terms of road safety, traffic fatalities are more likely to kill or disable Americans at a fairly young age – traffic accidents were the leading cause of death for people ages 5-34 in the U.S. in 2008, and the leading cause of injury-related death among all ages. For the past two decades, there has been an average of 43,000 traffic fatalities annually, and another 2.5 million annual injuries. The estimated costs of injury and property damage are approximately $164 billion per year.  The number of drivers and time spent on the road is ever increasing, driving up the likelihood of accidents. Additionally, in underinvested neighborhoods, poorly designed streets, neglected road maintenance, inadequate lighting, limited sidewalks, and minimal traffic enforcement place residents at higher risk of injury. It is also a concern for elders, the fastest-growing segment of the population, who experience declines in their ability to drive safely as they age, and are also more likely to experience pedestrian injuries due to their slowing mobility.

The health of the general American population is at risk through poor community development planning and lack of attention to how we build our community supports. The combined impact of poor community design and a rising rate of preventable disease proves that transportation policy has a great impact on the overall health of the community, and must be a call to improve our health as we redesign our communities for the future.

* All statistics verified by the American Public Health Association.

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A Hong Kong airline recently banned children from some of its first class flights, and I am only left wondering when the rest of the public will offer similar measures. I’ve said before that with the already high cost of a plane ticket, I should be able to bring a suitcase along for free, but being able to enjoy a cross-country flight without some kid screaming and kicking my seat the whole way – now that would be worth extra money. Parents clearly have the right to bring their kids most places (yet another reason I love a good bar?), and kids will be kids, BUT… I also have the right to enjoy my flying/dining/entertainment experience without that small terrorist who kind of looks like you running amuck.

This isn’t about the kid who scrapes his knee and cries for a few minutes; I’m talking about the kid who is turned around at his table at dinner staring at me, singing the Barney theme at the top of his lungs and throwing spaghetti over the back of the booth, while the parents smile in that “Isn’t he precious” sort of way. He isn’t.  Tell him to turn around, sit down, and leave other people alone.  When your kid decides a movie/play/concert is a great time to ask a zillion questions or throw a tantrum, take them out of there!

Or how about the mom at the grocery store with seemingly a dozen kids under the age of ten, squealing and running haphazardly through the store aisles, knocking into you without so much as a look back, never mind an apology? She’s also apparently deaf, since she seems to be the only person in a 50-mile radius that can’t hear the chorus of “mom-mom-mom” or continual crying of her offspring.  I couldn’t care less if your kid is swinging from the rafters, as long as you’re right there pulling him down and apologizing, explaining that that’s not appropriate behavior. If your kids have energy they need to burn, they make places for that – they’re called backyards and playgrounds.  If your kid just can’t behave, then keep them home.  As a parent, you may be biologically obliged to adore everything your child does and consider it a sign of their latent genius, but the rest of the population has no such commitments, and actually find your kid annoying at the very least. Don’t ignore your kids and hope they stop – that’s what the rest of us are politely trying to do; you need to discipline them.

Parenting seems to have changed quite a bit in this last generation – the problem I see being these new-age “cool” parents who want to be friends with their kids who refuse to or are incapable of acting as the authority. Being Italian, I got a smack with a wooden spoon when I stepped out of line, and I didn’t have to get hit very many times to know Nani was serious when she told me to quit it. Everyone I know used to get spanked for misbehaving and turned out ok. Children no longer have a healthy “fear” of their parents for lack of a better word. In no way am I saying your child should quiver in terror in your presence or that you should beat him or her; yet they should know you are the boss.

It all boils down to this: It was your choice to have kids, and that comes with the responsibility of making sure they don’t turn into miniature a**holes every time they are out in public.  Bad parents set their kids up for failure later in life if they don’t get clear boundaries and expectations for behavior, and turn family-friendly places into adult-unfriendly locales.

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Another graduation season has come and gone. As the Class of 2011 joins the alumni ranks and spreads out across the world, I defer to country singer Trace Adkins, who claims you “Find Out Who Your Friends Are.”  I think he hits the nail perfectly on the head when he sings:

This ain’t where the road comes to an end
This ain’t where the band wagon stops
This is just one of those times when
A lotta folks jump off

Sad to think, isn’t it? Sometimes I think I miss college; usually very early on Monday mornings, but what I actually miss are my friends.  I had some of the craziest experiences of my life with these people.  I miss my sorority sisters, who for 4 years were effectively my whole family and support system. I remember when 15 girls lived in an old dilapidated frat house with just two bathrooms, and how great we thought it was.  I miss my old roommates, especially when we lived directly above a Mexican restaurant in a tilted apartment with a stripper pole in the kitchen that people thought was keeping the ceiling from caving in. I miss all my friends that spent too many nights staying up too late, and more often than not, drinking too much, but we were young and reckless, weren’t we?

No one thinks losing touch will happen to them, especially not in the age of Facebook. It’s so easy to keep up! You may have hundreds of online friends, but how often are we letting, “Oh yeah, I saw that in my newsfeed” suffice in our relationships in place of real friendship maintenance? Everyone is so spread out across the country, if not the world, and busy with their new jobs, homes, and families, that it can be tough to find time to get together.  You go from seeing your friends practically every day to a few times a month, or every few months, then a couple times a year, and suddenly you haven’t seen anyone’s non-digital face in you-can’t-even-remember-how-long.  Then the longer it’s been, the easier it becomes to just let it dwindle away.

But for those people who truly matter to you, you find time, don’t you?

I’ve traveled thousands of miles around the country back and forth in the past few years to see friends. And of course, Facebook can be a great tool to keep up in between visits, but nothing is ever going to replace that face-to-face time, with real interaction, activity, and connection. What it all boils down to for me is this: Who’s worth time and effort (and often, money) in your life? My love don’t cost a thing, but gas and airfare do, at least.

Maybe I wasn’t the greatest at calling, maybe it was you. Shoot me an e-mail. Let’s chat for five minutes on the phone.  Let’s both grumble and agree to drive an hour out of the way, yes, just for dinner or a movie.  I’ll even give up some of my precious vacation time and come see you for a long weekend, and my couch is always open. Even if it’s been absolutely forever, let’s pick up right where we left off.  As one of my favorite poets, e.e. Cummings, wrote,

i carry your heart with me(i carry it in
my heart)i am never without it

I don’t keep contact with every Tom, Dick, & Sally I’ve ever crossed paths with since kindergarten, so if you’re on my “friends” list, then you matter to me. Always know that. All I ask is that you meet me halfway, and I can’t wait to see you.

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Let’s face it, we are all pretty much broke. No matter how you accept it, it’s the truth, so deal with it! But there’s a problem because unlike everything else, us gals still need to look good without taking out a loan to pay for it. Seriously, have you seen some of the prices at Nordstrom? $100 falling apart jeans can stay on their racks any day. Since money doesn’t grow on trees (well, if you want to get technical…then they sort of do), there needs to be the medium of looking good and being thrifty. The biggest money saver is turning back to basics and putting on those old thinking caps by follow these steps.

Step One: Break Up With Your High-end Retail Stores. They are trying to destroy you!

This step should be obvious, but look at the logic. They sell things that cost little to make, causing your bank account to catch cobwebs. They don’t care about you, and too many times is that ‘perfect’ shirt stay hanging in the closet, because the event to wear it to never seems to come. Their not worth your money woes so kick ‘em to the curb girl!

Step Two: Create your own style.

Pricy sandals? Buy cheap ones and create your own vintage or glamorous version. It will make you look fashionable, as well as being God to create whatever you want! Muhahahaha! Rip up some fabric, braiding it and sew them into the sandals or add charms. If they’re leather you can dye them, add designs and claim to have spent a fortune!

Step Three: Back to Basics.

Buy plain and make your accessories extravagant. Don’t worry about wearing real jewelry, no one cares unless your royalty. It says ‘Hey, what a good idea- she’s so creative and a fashionista!’ White blouse with a long and beautiful necklace or wild earrings with an amazing but simple up-do will be a hell of a lot cheaper than trying to take on the high end. Take a cheap pair of jeans at the Salvation Army (you’d be surprised the good stuff in there), and destroy them yourself, saving yourself about $90.

Step Four: Lower that Nose, Snob!

Boutiques have the most interesting clothing for cheap prices, and places like Marshalls and T.J.Maxx can give you that designer fix your feening. But so can second hand stores. Most people sell their pricey clothes to them, giving you the deal. At this point too, handbags are overrated but knock-offs are on the rise and even I can’t tell which one is real or fake anymore. The beauty of these stores is it create an entirely new wardrobe in your house, and sets you apart from the mob of women at Nordstrom.

Take pride in buying cheap but still being able to execute the perfect look. It’s easy when your fashion savvy and economically logical, because I’m not talking about lowering your standards, but expanding your thinking.

That’s something we all can afford.

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