Committed to Commitment
I used to think commitment was something that just fell into being when you found the right person, so that by the time your partner had transitioned from “this guy I’m seeing” to “my new boyfriend”, the cute stranger on the subway would be just that — a cute stranger on the subway. I always assumed that if you were truly tempted to cheat, it was a sign of problems in the relationship, and that if all was well between a couple, infidelity wouldn’t be an issue.
There’s no way for me to shy around it — I want a boyfriend. I’ve been single for a long time and I’m ready to find someone I can be with for the foreseeable future. When my coworkers talk about romantic weekends and apartment shopping with their significant others, I feel an unfamiliar twinge of jealousy.
Which usually lasts till about…Saturday night.
From my current calculations, I’ve made out with 14 guys in 2010. And honestly, I’m probably forgetting a couple. I don’t know if this is normal, or bad, or – taking into account the fact that I am actively seeking a relationship and thus, flirting with anyone with a Y-chromosome — if it’s okay.
But the fact is, I’ve never had to be committed to anybody, so I don’t exactly know what kind of effort is required. And the fact that effort is require is only just striking me now — unless I find my OMG ONE AND ONLY TRUE LOVE, the temptation to find the next best thing will always persist. The fact is, I don’t know what it’s like to get hit on at a bar and <i>not</i> accept the offer for a drink and a dance. I guess it’s just inherent in being a choicester — maybe it’s impossible for any of us to resist, really.
Because really, pure potential is the biggest temptation there is.