Blame Twilight: Ten(ish) Strange Vampire Products
Let’s face it: we’re going to drown in a sea of vampires. It’ll never end. Ever since that atrociously written vampire-series-that-shall-never-be-named was published, it spawned a multitude of mostly badly written knock offs. Three movies down the line, and it’s much worse. It’s beyond the usual souvenirs. Amazon has a special “vampire romance” section, and the teen section has 1,055 vampire books. Girls suddenly had to decide whether they were ‘team Jacob’ or ‘team Edward’—which has become Burger King’s latest marketing trend.
Can I just say that Cedric Diggory was NEVER noticed before these movies? And if you think I’m just some hater—I’ve read all the books. That is—-after I sustained a bad injury on my fingers that rendered me incapable of doing things without pain. So I read the series, yes. I was amused, yes. I just never prepared for the living hell that the movies would unleash on the world. (I will agree that Jacob continually gets hotter and hotter)
So here’s a list of weird vampire products:
—-Vampire Vineyard Wine. There’s….actually….wine produced in a vineyard that is ‘rumored’ to be created by vampires. It makes sense that it was started by some ‘entertainment attorney.’ There’s Vodka, Beer, and Wine.
—-These are just a list of weird vampire books I saw: (This is just one section!)
- How to Date a Vampire
- The Vampire is Just Not That Into You
- How to Catch and Keep a Vampire: A Step By Step Guide to Loving the Bad and the Beautiful —don’t you catch them with …nets? Or something?
SO there you have it! If your inner bloody vampire isn’t satisfied, then maybe opt for the purchasable Edward wig.